I’ve been composing my Dear John letter to More magazine in my head for the last few weeks. I’ve subscribed to the magazine, originally targeted to women over 40, for over a decade. But somehow I missed the memo, a few years ago, that the magazine was refocusing and “moving away from the idea that it is solely geared towards women 40 and older.”
Now that I have both feet solidly in middle age, it became apparent, as I thumbed through my stockpile of back issues during the recent long weekend, that in this magazine I thought was designed for me fully 70% of the women’s faces on the advertising pages are much younger than 40. (Yes, I counted.) So the beautiful smooth faces trying to sell me lifting and firming cream and hair color and other goods with names like “Youth Code” and “Slender Secret” did not reflect the, er, realities of their intended audience.
I’d also grown oh so tired of the relentless articles discussing the pros and cons of cutting edge technology for “looking better with age” – Botox injections, fillers, laser treatment, radio-frequency wave treatment, etc. I didn’t find the reminders of my inevitable physical decline and all the things I was not doing to stop it to be empowering.
But then this week, while browsing the December/January issue during my daughter’s volleyball practice, I was unexpectedly surprised to read some very excellent advice in what I thought was another predictable article on beauty and aging. Psychologist and author Judith Sills eschews the idea of “age appropriate”, and I can really get behind her perspective:
On the idea of mourning lost youth, her philosophy is to “look back but don’t stare.”
Sex, she claims, is “life juice” and she advises to “have as much sex as possible in any way possible.”
She considers cosmetics to be “an attitude enhancer”.
Her advice to women who are freaked out by their wrinkles is “stop thinking about yourself so much.”
“The more invested you are in life, the less worried you are about what other people think.”
So More magazine has, for the time being, redeemed itself with me. I won’t move my Dear John letter from my head to keyboard for now, but I hope in 2013 to see a lot more such intelligent advice and less information on choosing the best plastic surgeon.